I like Twilight. There, I said it. Sue me. I think they're awesome films. They have a good story, they're well filmed and well acted. I haven't read the books; to be honest, doing that would probably rob me of my last shred of masculinity at this point. When I saw New Moon I was the only guy in a pretty big group of girls and we had cocktails before. It was unspeakably gay. But fuck it, I enjoyed myself.
What I didn’t like about Twilight, however, was the silly sparkly aspect of the 'vampires.' In the moments leading up to the part where Edward Cullen reveals his 'true self' I was thinking "Yes! Shit's about to go down!" I was expecting it to be all blood and teeth and piles of dead virgins at his feet. But no! The big chinned fucker just stood there and glittered! Glittered! 'This is nooo vampiiiire!' say I! Just a sparkly fairy with nice hair. Major disappointment.
I mean, look what Robert Rodriguez and Tarantino did with 'From Dusk Till Dawn'. I bet nobody sitting on their couch, twiddling their knobs while watching the beautiful Salma Hayek gyrate on a table and pour beer down her leg was expecting that to happen. It was brilliant!
Now I know some will say 'No Charlie, it's not about vampires, it's a story of forbidden love.' Frankly though, you can eat shit. I paid to see vampires and vampires is what i shall have, damn it! What Twilight needs is some balls and some kind of dragon creature which fucks the whole show up, then it would be perfect. Just a thought.
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